Last weekend seemse like a long time ago, so I'm a little short on details. I think maybe this is a good thing. If one can't remember it happening a week later it is probably unworthy of blog-dome. Maybe we should all wait a week before blogging. It might take our posts to the next level. Soon strangers will be reading our blogs because our lives sound so interesting!
Ice Storm From Hell
That doesn't even make any sense. It's hot there. Wherever that storm came from, it dumped a boatload of snow, then ice, then more snow on my little corner of the world in Dayton. We missed 2 days of work. Luckily the bowling alley stayed open, so the important part of my week was uninterrupted. :-)
Here's a picture (snapped from the iPhone) of deathly icicles hanging 3 stories above my condo last weekend. The photo doesn't seem to do them justice, as I am estimating the longest one at 9'. Monsters, seriously. They actually woke me up sunday morning when they fell. That wouldn't hold up in a court of law, but at the very least I was awakened by the shattering of ice outside, and when I took Oliver out to pee the icicles were gone. Thankfully my DirecTV dish was spared.
*flash forward to this week*
The Germ From Hell
Actually it's just a slight cold, but I'm stretching for a 'title theme' this week. I left work early monday, stayed home and slept all day tuesday, and left work early again on friday. I've been hitting the meth pretty hard to fight it off. That's what I call pseudoephedrine. It's an important ingredient for meth, and it's practically more difficult to purchase the stuff than it is to rob a bank. These precautions seems quite misguided, sort of like making me take my belt off before being allowed to board a plane. I think the people that make these rules have to know that we now have radars capable of looking through clothes. So why do I have to get down to my boxers to go through a metal detector? Why is the metal detector there at all anyway? Explosives aren't metal, and everybody puts 7 different electronic devices (GPS navigator, cell phone, watch, laptop, etc.) through the other scanning device. Any of these things could just as easily be a detonator. I think we're afraid to throw the metal detectors away because it would make people feel vulnerable. This paragraph was supposed to be about me being sick..............
The Season from Hell....
....is over! My 8th graders mercifully lost in the tournament this afternoon, ending a 2-10 campaign. Miraculously, we actually won in the 1st round of the tournament yesterday. It was a very dramatic and painful victory. Offense was difficult to identify for even the most focused observer. It was tied 13-13 at the end of regulation (yeah, really), but our offense caught fire in overtime, winning 17-13. Unfortunately reality came a-knocking today as we got beat down to the tune of 44-11 (-ish).
The Robot from Massachusetts
I got my iRobot Roomba in the mail this week. She needs a name. I'm not as blessed as many of you all in the creative names department, so please send inspired names to me. Here is a picture of her apparently eating Cap'n Crunch for breakfast, but this isn't at my house. Oliver would never allow that. As a matter of fact, Oliver needs to learn to respect *name here* a little more. He's been ran into by her no less than a dozen times. Each time Oliver reacts with subtle annoyance, if not full-blown disdain. This much is clear - "he's not frickin' movin' for no robot vacuum. Go around, *name here*!" I eagerly await my other recent (foolish) purchases, the SlapChop and ShamWows. But if you've seen the commercials, you know they are coming from Germany, so I wouldn't expect them for at least another week.
A Cautionary Tale for Body Hair
(Intriguing title, no?) First, I should say that I really appreciate all the fine gifts I received for Christmas. Sadly, one of them is torturing me daily. The fancy belt Megan bought me is reversible. The buckle side has a spring-loaded joint that lets you flip it around so that you can have either black or brown showing on the outside. It's genius. The downside is that it pulls out hair in the vicinity of the bellybutton with reckless abandon (specifically left of the belly button). The life lesson here is to keep your shirt tucked in, but I'm a slob sometimes. If I don't pull myself together I'm going to have assymetric body hair. Symmetry has been strongly tied to how attractive one is perceived by others, so if I ever plan to find a wife I'm gonna hafta address this situation before it's too late. If I'm 40 and still single, I will now blame Megan..........
:-)
3 comments:
I'm going out to buy you a new belt tomorrow. I cannot have your happiness riding on me conscience. I just can't handle it.
Names for the robot: Rosie? That's the maid off the Jetsons. If you throw the name around in social cirlces, it sounds like you may have an actual housekeeper who comes in to do your dirty work. Plus Rosie the Rumba? That's got flow. I'm gonna keep thinking though. That seemed awfully obvious to me. My creativity may not have peeked.
How about Rosita, the hot Latin housekeeper? Similar to Selma Hayek's character on 30 Rock...only not a nurse, but a robotic vacuum. Right, very similar.
I think you have to be careful throwin' that Rosie name around when your single:) HaHa
How about Romona? I really like Roxy, but I realize that's Rob's dog's name.
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