Things are BUSY

I have been quite over-booked for about the last month. Work has been pretty intense, and last week several people officially hit that magical moment where small things suddenly lead to serious over-reactions and just general irritability. I think maybe 'frazzled' would be a good word to describe the scene. I'm generally pretty calm about it, or maybe I'm just an intense jerk all the time so no one can tell any difference. Either way, I could use some sort of de-compressing time in the near future. I did get all my class work done this week without the luxury of using much time this weekend (wedding #1 for the season). I will probably be attempting to pull that off again this weekend with Megan's big birthday coming up and all.

I'm not a wedding planner, nor an aspiring wedding planner, but I observed some key issues this weekend while sitting through one.

Special Considerations - WIND

• Unity Candle - This just isn't going to work in the wind. I recommend cutting this stupid step out completely, but if someone feels strongly about the symbolism behind the mothers lighting a candle simultaneously, it's going to need to be within the safe confines of a banquet hall or some other building. The unity candle thing actually blew off the table saturday, and they had the people go through the motions to 'contemplate' the whole pretend process. It lost something with the lack of fire, in my opinion.
• Photographer - DO NOT WEAR A LOOSE DRESS. YOU WILL NEED BOTH HANDS TO HOLD THE CAMERA. Enough said.
• Mud - Maybe there needs to be a large tarp placed on the ground, or maybe they could hover some helicopters over the sight that morning or somethin', but mud is not welcome at weddings. I wasn't even wearing high heels, and it greatly annoyed me.
• Tee boxes in close proximity - "Dearly beloved, we gather here today........*PING*..........."Derek, do you take....*PING*.....Kayley to be your wife? *PING*. This can be distracting.
• Crappy preacher guy - This actually has nothing to do with the outdoor / wind issue, but was disheartening all the same. I learned two things from this guy. The first thing I learned is that I can't get into heaven because I'm not married. This is disappointing to say the least. (He gave a power-writing speech, identifying 3 things that the couple need to focus on -1. I need you. 2. I need to understand you. 3. I need you to get in to heaven.) I am still investigating these legalities, and need to know more about this policy. But in the meantime, Kacy (my other single friend) and I have agreed that if there is some sort of card that we get to let someone else in that we will use our cards on one another. If anyone knows about this policy, I think it's a little late for me to hear about it now. Why did no one else tell me?????? The other thing I learned from preacher guy is that it is NOT FUNNY to make jokes about marriage. Single people can talk about 'the old ball and chain' or losing freedom, but that just makes us look petty. This leads in well to my last wedding-related thought.....
• There is a serious market void out there that needs to be filled. Where are the humorous wedding cards? I never see them. I want a card with depressing stats about marriage on the inside, or some comment about "everybody needs a starter" or somethin' like that. Maybe someone can make a card with the shocking mother daughter picture combinations where the girl looks AMAZING at 21 and SCARY at 35, and then a note on the inside that says "I hope you did your homework....". That's funny. I would definitely give that card to my friends.
• Micro-brewery note - If anyone reading this is a beer snob, I recently ran across one of the best beers I've ever had. It is from Goose Island Brewery, and it is called 'Pere Jacques' (like the song, I think). Buy it. You will thank me.